I wrote this back in 2010, barely two years after my sister's death.It was a dark,confusing and painful time.Worse yet it was a time of faithlessness.Here's one snippet of my many my internal fights:
My
Internal Ying &Yang
Where there
is evil there is good
Where darkness
dwells there light to illuminate it
Where you
feel love you feel hate
When you
revenge you feel remorse
Where
there is pure goodness evil is ready to take its place
When I’m
happy the darkness creeps in bringing me back down that path
The path...
The path
of deep rooted sadness within
How do I
stop it?
I keep
debating
Should I
stop it?
Do I need
these emotions?
Do I
really want to feel??
If I let
it engulf will love ever beseech me again
Its
tentacles threaten me
They move
suggestively
They
entice me
I debate even
more so
Do I
really truly want to know?
Oh how
beautiful the feeling of blackness can be
I know
not if I still know the true meaning of beauty
Its
version is much more sinister
Perverted
and twisted is my new mind
Leave me
alone I shout
The light
listens
So pure
end considerate it can be in such dire moments
You do
not even try to dance suggestively
Am I this
worthless to you?
You won’t
bother to seduce me?
Curses
from the grave! For in the pits of my soul I crave goodness
Regardless
of how empty and void I may be
I know
not what it will be....
I know
not how to be
One
without the other
Can I
love without hate?
Can there
be light without darkness
And
darkness void of light
Can I be
joyful without the slightest sadness?
Wonderful and touching
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