Alone

I am alone, I hear the faint sounds of the television in the next room, speaking of thickets of smoke, mushrooming lands I am so far from…

The frogs croak by the swimming pool, communicating, their mundane routine, “what’s for supper”, “will you marry me?” or “how bout we just f*ck” …at least for now that remains my translation.

I lie on this bed alas I am still alone, thinking hard to end the sadness.

My heart dances with anxiety, blood rushes inside of me.

I think to myself it might just overflow or take control of my actions…like thoughts darting through my brain as tadpoles in puddles, glory to the rain.

All these things happen but alas I am still alone … propelling my will toward movement of any kind to regain possession of this crazy mind of mine, focus I murmur, focus Now …

We are only a few steps closer to the ledge inch by inch step by raggedy step …the edge draws me near… I clench it tight no letting go in sight even though it is still unclear what this light means… it teases me only a glimpse as it kisses my eyes with a sting… butterflies in my echoing belly, tingles in my finger tips, could this be it?

With one last push my sight regained warm fuzzy shadows surround me.

For the first time in the immeasurable I AM NOT ALONE.