Fire...

Listen to FIRE here..

Pen to recycled paper under the shadowy candlelight

I think of things I would rather do in the wax scented air, you and me body to body

I’d rather be on top in control of every stroke as we rock

For you I will surrender my independence

Lower myself to your peasant when you starve me of the good taste,

That loving you bring me

Your sex is on fire undoubtedly,

My heart nearly expires at the slightest caress of your fingers

You know where…

That paradise of explosion you know so well as you charter me there first class

Erotic eruptions, don’t change the linen, your essence rouses my loins

Back arched, I become a contortionist for you, reaching for the ceiling

Voices hoarse

The walls ringing with panted echoes of our names

Seeing the very galaxies from a view so high then a drop so sharp

I choke back tears I’ve lost all fears

The bed, cold floor and dirty bathroom is our sanctuary

Swapping much more than just bodily fluids

Let a part of you grow within me

A bigger entity intertwined

Oh so spiritually

Legs wrapped, heart, mind, and soul combined out of control just on a roll

The insatiable hunger hits me like a fever…

Fire…

One look at me is beyond ecstatic, somersaults and acrobatics in my mind running through my nerves…the surface of my skin trembling…hearts resounding the same song as you slip off my thong

Murmuring sweetness…

I am NOT in love…

I am willingly completely sexually domesticated

Are you?

This is the Fire that resides in my desire for you.

Things that I wish I could say…

I look at the past and yearn for the present...thoughts of the past consume me. It’s not that I wish that it could be, once again it’s more like an imprint of you, interconnections laughs, smiles and pet names. Future plans of babies and migrations…Certainty of you, me, and us in one vicinity. I once thought that you were into me…so deep…deep enough to drown and resuscitate yourself but alas we were a sinking ship, doomed from the get go, the feelings lost flow when you let go of the us and let parts of you be with someone new. So where does that leave me? Licking my wounds, licking my fingers for comfort, flicking over any stray in my fortress. Walls, made high, strong,  a whole new moral high-ground made standard. Once … I was stranded but Ndabho… flashback memories fill the blanks as I get blinded by the light of my photographic memory, one day you’ll only be the past of me, my behind as I recollect minus the regret of the meetings and fleetingness of what was then a romance. You now know my thoughts and recollections One day I will forget your very impression...on me, I will forget what could have been. Only then I shall cease to care.

Let it Go!

There’s something nostalgic about meeting someone from your past, it could be an ex-lover, friend now turned enemy/ stranger, (Some Gotye anyone?) or simply a childhood neighbour you knew before you could barely count to ten. Something about that past and present fusion or how dislodged your lives become because of the time apart. Progress, regression, lightning speed and snail like paces. Changes and then like a cruel joke similarilities in experiences of previous, love, loss, slow healing and failure. And yet with a good friend even with as much as 16years of time apart almost half my life (just kidding, I’m not that old…honest!) I met him. My childhood crush, it’s ridiculous to blush at this right but I guess I’m blushing more at the very thought of him reading this (what have I done?).

The past is just alluring, well at least if it’s the good kind, an ex boyfriend perhaps, loose ends and a wedding on the way. (how this is a good thing I’m not quite sure yet)

We have a tendency to hold onto things we know we should be letting go off; a bad habit, an old flame, past mistakes, a grudge. We ball our fists grabbing tight onto things that could have been. What ifs and maybe ‘babies’. What we should be doing instead is something more noble and movie-like, lighting a Chinese lamp or something, letting the ‘then’ of your time be just that; light and feathery instead of heavy and haunting.

Let go of that nonsense that has you second guessing your future ability to conquer, succeed or learn from your past (which is what experience is for). Let that shit go honey, its dead weight and only makes you feel awful, where’s the fun in that?  How? Just stop! Stop obsessing on what could have been, whether you fell off a lucrative career path 10YEARS ago, or were a size 8 and now a 20, deal with your CURRENT. Just when you’re about to think in reverse again, ask yourself this, “Is there anything I can do to change or adjust it RIGHT NOW?” if your answer is ever ‘No’, then in the words of Alexandra Burke it’s time to LET IT GO Go GO, let it ALL GO!!