Comedians bring the'Towers' down at Zim’s First Comedy Fest

If you read my previous post, you would know that the Goliath & Goliath team was set to jet into the Harare and tickle our funny bones. And just as they promised they did… well, at least it looked that way.
 I noted a good number of patrons gasping for air, slapping their thighs, spilling their drinks and guffawing throughout the show.
Carl made an entertaining host, as he threw a few jokes here and there. The Program though a little late (we are African after all!) ran like clockwork as each comedian took a turn to crack our ribs. (in a non-violent fashion of course!)
Jason found himself the big butt of the joke as everyone took a stab at his weight,  gait and goodness all. Being the good sport he is, he passed the heat onto to someone else as he lightly roasted a few patrons. By the time he was done all I knew was people married for 10years have the libido of old Peugeots, that Mdara Zober’s libido runs on diesel (Creeepy) and that Jason only allows experienced drivers to ‘drive’ his car (wink). I loved Donovan; he was such a charmer and a funny one at that. (what more can a girl ask for though *ehem* in a performance ka!)
Our Zim Comics flew the flag Marijuana high! Michael K being my favourite, his impressions were top notch! As for Q... watching him feels like watching your favourite nephew grow (let’s ignore the fact that he might be older than me). My point is He gets better and better every time I watch him perform okay! Big pat on the back for that one! Lovers and haters (I’m stuck somewhere in between) of Dancehall were left agog by the end of his set. All I can say is "USADAROOOOOOOO!!!"

Both during the intervals of the Program and at the end of the show; patrons milled about in the foyer all smiles.  For the most part it seemed All had a gay old time. Teaming up with something for a good cause a pair of ladies from the charitable initiative With Love Zim sold some really funky jewellery; made by the women from the Mbare soup kitchen. 

The Miller Genuine Draft  themed after party was the cherry on top as DJ Chucknosis (did I spell it right?) spun that good music from his Pink Apple Mac… (I sh*t you not it really was pink!)
I hear we’ll be having four of these Comedy fest things next year, I say …. Bring it On!!

Shoko Festival : The Rising ...

It was a ‘freaky’ Friday alright and this lady was on a mission, a MISSION to ‘arrest MAFAROES courtesy of Shoko Festival right?!

As cheesy as that may sound hears my ‘to do list, you know for reference:

• Ñ       Freak -em palazzos *check*
  
• Nude-I’ll-snog-you-in-a-Water-Whirld-bush-sex-appeal-lipstick *check*
  
• Hijacked fellow partners in crime *check*
  
• Arrival: ‘Fashionably Late’ the African version plus two more hours *check*
  
•  Identify watering holes in the vicinity *check*
  
• Use them religiously after every few minutes *check!*

You wouldn’t believe our luck; just as we arrived we walked slam-BHAM into the coolest Chiwoniso Tribute on a stage which happened to be named in her honour; a combination of crazy tribal percussion, Reggae chanting - singing and some Afro-electronic to make any house-heads’ panties wet. To say Willis Watafi, Sista Flame & my newest discovery of awesomeness, Djembe Monks from Bulawayo killed Chi’s ‘Mai’ is an understatement. Never have I heard that song in such a positive and uplifting vibe.

Mzungu Kichaa, looked anything but crazy, in fact; clad in a skinny-tee, PALAZZOS topped off with a grass hat, he looked so cultured, so cultured he stole my heart. My heart is in Tanzania as you read this, maybe it was all that Masai jewelry? Maybe if I tweet him he’ll give it back! Anyway, the crowd loved the guy (see what I mean?); he taught the crowd some Masai, asked about our well-being, livestock, crops etc. He must have known we were a crowd of new farmers *Hihihi!* As he made room for Tariro neGitare the crowd had a feel of what this Bongo genre was all about; catchy Afro-Jazz with the occasional touch of Sungura guitar vibes.
Watching Tariro for the first time, I knew within that instant why her Twitter handle was ‘Wildfire’, incidentally that was the first song she performed. 

This happened to be my first time watching her perform and yes she was all woman, captivating the audience. Even the restless Tony Rebel fans were transfixed as she went. More so when her Mzungu co-performed the reggae influenced ‘Chitima’. 

Flanked by Mannex Motsi, Jah Farai and Lady Thanda as background, Tony Rebel made it onto stage to the sound of screaming frenzied fans (mostly males that looked vana baba-baningi!)! Dressed in an all red Michel Jackson inspired outfit, Tony looked all out ecstatic to be on stage in Zimbabwe. So much he sang about it. His performance though filled with typical “PULL-UP!!” teases was eventful, engaging, entertaining and well worth the wait. 

Mbira-Princess, Hope Masike made a quick cameo as she translated ‘If God is on my side’ into a souled out Shona version. Jah Farai, Lady Thanda and Mannex each had moment to shine. Rightfully so they were all top notch and flew both ‘the’ colours and ‘our’ colours pretty high!  After the host for the evening Ruvheneko Parirenyatwa’s (Zifm) and her Starfm co-host called it a night, the people moved the party to the Julius Chingono Stage where Otis ‘The Flow’ Fraser (My radio idol *screams*) was ready and waiting playing some feel good old school as the crowd siphoned through.

It was there the ‘REAL’ good vibes flowed as a smaller crowd of the patrons mingled and danced on the grass till the wee hours of 4am. Yes of course I was one of them barefooted and rapturous till it was time to go as The Rising of the Sun neared.

Shoko Festival 2013 kicked some major...*cough* Shoko Festival 2013 arrested some Massive Mafaroes, next year it’s so F%&#!ng on! Can’t wait!

Closure

I start with a smile, I wear it,

Not sure why though

It stands there in full pride teeth gleaming, eyes mischievous.

 The very fact that I have imagined it proves that I am both slightly delirious and definitely hilarious…

Mostly to myself

Alas the audience is my own…

The shadow that has grown with me reasons…

Telling me stories of thoughts and fissures in my reality.

 What SHOULD be?

How my emotions in the widened oceans of known speculations

SHOULD be

Anger, maliciousness, even hatred

All these leave a putrid scent in the air

I dare not take it in…

Deep inhalations of Mary J’s finest

Call it uncensored courage for the hours of confrontation

They lie ahead

Sleeplessness

There is no rest for the wicked

 Paces quickened to a place of light…

Arms shifting, bodies speaking subliminally in our opposites

We fought war not with each other but ourselves  

I took a ride…by choice this time I ran in the darkness towards the stories I needed him to tell

Closure

A potion I drank to my fill…

I never want to crave his again

He took me for a ride…

One, two, three were pleasurable the rest were plain miserable so…

 I NEEDED his closure...NO I needed his to be mine

Damn it!

I needed it

I had it

He gave it to me

Closure

Wounds wide open, dirt he threw…

One day it would be infectious, THIS he knew

Another day at the office I assumed

Thanks to his Closure

That night I knew…

That for certain

 I was right

But we were not!

Try as we might

Pigs and unicorns would sooner take flight on the strongest of wishes

But

NOTHING could keep US afloat

Unless passion and ripped clothing sufficed as sole relational currency

His loss seeing as I’m strung on celibacy and it would never be enough for me so I Closed in on the Closure he gave to me

A multitude of give and take was that night

My gratitude is immense

It was the best he could he could give in replacement

The clearest rhapsody of reality that sat across from me

  CLOSURE.  

Listen To Closure HERE      

IT’S MY FIRST TIME AND I’M A BIT OF A VIRGIN

So turns out this is my first blog entry and just so you know I will not be writing erotically the whole time But I might surprise you (I like surprises don’t you?); I feel the dire need to greet the people who may stumble upon this, quite literally (it will be a little tangled and mixed up the first couple of posts.. I hope); Hello one and all! Welcome!

Now that’s out of the way let’s get to it. When I first got the bullocks idea to write a blog I thought “I  have a lot to say I might as well put it down in virtual ink and paper”. Then there was this fear that, “who cares what I have to say?”, that fear of flopping, the horror that nobody would read it. (Come to think of it that’s the pang at the pit of my stomach at this very moment). Whether it will it be read I haven’t the foggiest but I sure as hell hope so. Back to the subject matter (I tend to drift off a lot and yes there’s a point to this diddle-doddle), FEAR! It’s just popped in my head given as a result of it I was quite literally reduced to tears by a group of girls.(More of that in the future) I’d like to believe (given my cup size DD); I’m a grown ass woman! However there are those moments when the coward within takes to the stand and all we are left with is self loathing, disgust at our inability to face those things that have haunted us maybe not our entire lives but such fractions count math proves it.  Nudged and poked at the core of our esteem, embedded cracks at our very self whatever makes us ourselves.

I have loads of fears and as a Christian this should be embarrassing, some are genuine as well as typical and most are… what some may refer to as ridiculous. Two major ones in the ridiculous department, the fear of failure (I’m sure many will concur) and the fear of not being accepted! There I said it! I like being liked okay doesn’t everyone though? It’s a true psychological weakness I acquired from years of boarding school torture. (It always helps to blame someone or something). There’s this thing about being accepted being told that even though you’re not perfect or the standard of what would be considered as normal or cool or even awesome, it’s okay. In high school I was the official outcast out law, I still am a lot, I never blended in easily, hell! I never blended in at all and we all know what that meant yup! I was the big ass of the joke quite literally, (Was and still am the buxom chick). So there’s always been that ‘thing’ where I have the need to go out of my way to be liked, damn this girl has worked hard even in instances where she didn’t have to. Like I said it’s a psychological ailment. Though my fear may be ridiculous, I’ve noted that it’s shared by many in different shapes. Hell it’s on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs or something!

‘Since the dawn of man’, people have always had a problem with accepting dissimilarity it’s like a bad hard wiring we have, as though our first instinct is to shun anything out of the ordinary and that is where I’m sure fear ferments; when we are threatened by the unusual.

And in this racy world there is so much more time for assumptions than there is for evaluations. We’re quick about everything; people have sex in public bathrooms that’s beyond evidence enough; we are even quicker to judge, to misunderstand or worse yet to disregard. We complain about limitations of time and the emptiness of life when we ignore the very variations that set our lives apart! We write off people because they aren’t convectional when we claim to be in the ‘New Age’ to be the ‘cool Generation’ and yet discrimination is right in front us we fuel the fear of the unknown! We create out casts, the in and out crowds, we determine whether money matters, clothes, backgrounds or sexual orientation! Bob Marley might have been baked on weed the whole time but I totally get that One Love song; world peace may be unattainable, Marijuana illegal but acceptance? That’s free. I totally sound like a hipster and I’m proud because I think I am a bit at heart. That’s all I’ve got for now  and if at least 10 people read this I will by The Almighty’s’ grace I will  get the energy to do this again so till you read again Ciao!!